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So, I tried it. Tinder, Bumble, whatever. Profiles got pics of abs, dogs, and thirst traps. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This ain’t love, fam.” It’s a meat market, straight up. Little known fact—dudes lie about height, like, 87% of the time. Saw a study somewhere, blew my mind. I’m 5’10”, swear I’m 6’2” online—nobody checks! Hilarious. Girls do it too—filters so thick they catfishin’ themselves. Met one chick, thought she was 25. Nope, 40. Surprise, motherfucker!

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Finally, I get to the uni, and guess what? The lecture hall’s packed! Like, standing room only. I’m thinking, “Wow, these students must be desperate for knowledge.” Or maybe they just wanted to escape the rain. It was pouring, like, biblical levels of rain. I swear I saw a couple of ducks floating down the street.

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