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About Bristol

*deep breath* Picture this—cruisin downtown, lights flicker, smellin like piss and regret. Reminds me, "You think you’re better than us?"—Dogville line, bam! Hits when you’re hagglin prices. They stare you down, bro, judgin hard. Once knew this chick, “Star”—yep, real name, stripper vibes. She’d quote Shakespeare while countin cash—fuckin wild, right? Surprised the hell outta me. “To be or not,” she’d say, laughin—total badass.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon levels of rain. I dash out of the hall, and I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running down the streets, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of action movie. I pass by the Gerrards Cross Golf Club, and I swear I see a couple of golfers just standing there, looking confused. Like, “Dude, it’s raining. Go home!”

Young delivery driver 'devastated' after 'pride and joy' van is stolen