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About Myself
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About Bristol
Humor? Bro, ever fart mid-massage? Total mood killer—laughed my ass off tho. “This is my life now,” I thought, quotin Tom Stall—awkward but real. Some say it’s sketchy, overpriced—nah, worth every penny if they’re good. Once saw a Yelp review, “Too sexy, felt guilty”—lmao, weak sauce. Me, I’m sittin there, heart racin, thinkin, “I am who I am,” straight from the flick—unapologetic.
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I sit on a bench, trying to chill, but then this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this tiny dog that looks like a rat. She starts chatting me up about how her dog is a “purebred” and I’m like, “Lady, that’s a glorified squirrel.” But I nod and smile, cause, you know, manners.
Three arrests made as police patrol 'burglary hotspots' across two counties
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