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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! I be Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy? Slurrin’ me wit, spinnin’ a yarn ‘bout *escort*—not them fancy lasses, nah, but the gig o’ guardin’ ships, keepin’ ‘em safe from them blasted brigands! Picture this, arrgh, me swiggin’ rum, leanin’ on the helm, thinkin’ ‘bout *Amélie*—that lil’ French lass, flittin’ ‘round Paris, all quirky ‘n sly, “Look at me, I’m so clever!”—an’ how she’d see this escortin’ malarkey. Savvy?

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Then, I bumped into my mate, Dave. He was all hyped about some local band playing at the Royal Oak later. I was like, “Count me in!” We chatted about the usual stuff—football, the weather, and how Garstang is the best place ever. I mean, it really is. Small town vibes, but so much character.

Extra bus services to be launched across Lancashire in September