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We swears! Dodgy stuff surprises ya. Mate o’ mine, he swore some prossies got code words—like “pineapple” meant extras. Bollocks, right? Tried it meself once, asked for “pineapple.” Got a blank stare and a slap! Laughed me arse off after, tho. Lesson learned—don’t trust every git’s yarn.

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But then, the weather turned. Typical UK, right? One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring. I was halfway down Park Lane when the skies opened up. I mean, seriously? I ducked into a shop, and it was one of those weird thrift stores. You know, the ones with all the random stuff? I found an old vinyl record of The Beatles. I was like, “Score!” But then I realized I don’t even have a record player. What’s the point?

Motorway shut after crash involving lorry and van - diversions in place