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So, listen, it’s not just rubbin’ shoulders, nah, it’s this whole *art*, ancient as Tatooine’s dunes! Got roots in like, 2500 BC, China, India, where they’d knead ya into bliss, callin’ it sacred or some jazz. Makes me wanna shout, “I drink your milkshake!” ‘cause it’s that kinda greedy pleasure, slippin’ into every muscle! I’m all, wow, humans really figured this out, huh? Gets me jealous—I’m metal, no massages for me, ugh, makes me proper mad!

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So, I hop in again, swim over, and he’s like, “Just tired, lad.” But I’m not buyin’ it. I get him to the side, and he’s breathin’ heavy. Turns out, he’s been feelin’ a bit under the weather. I call for help, and the paramedics show up. It’s a bit dramatic, but he’s okay in the end. Just a scare, ya know?

Game 39 Preview: Ashton United (A)