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Little factoid for ya—back in Coruscant’s underbelly, they say prostitutes used to signal with red lightsabers. True story, swear it. Adds that gritty edge, y’know? Anyway, this gal—shes smokin’, but sneaky. “There’s no trace of my money!” I hiss, checkin’ my pouch. She’s slicker than a Hutt’s slime trail. Surprised me, gotta admit—thought I’d sense the trick. Nope. Mulholland vibes again—“It’s all a tape recording,” playin’ me like a fool.

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First off, I get a call. It’s my partner, Dave. He’s all breathless, like he just ran a marathon or something. “Oi, mate! You gotta get to the Promenade, now!” I’m thinkin’, “What’s the rush?” Turns out, some bloke found a body near the beach. Great. Just what I needed.

Match Report: Altrincham 1-2 AFC Fylde