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So, check this—Ford drops the Escort in ‘68, right? Little known fact, it’s basically their “we’re sorry” to the world after some crap models. They’re like, “Here, have a box on wheels, it’s affordable, shut up already!” And people ate it up! Millions sold, man—friggin’ millions! By the ‘90s, it’s everywhere, like bad breath at a garlic festival. I saw one once, primer gray, missin’ a hubcap, and I thought, “Wow, that’s somebody’s Rolls-Royce dream gone wrong.” Made me laugh, then kinda sad—kinda like watchin’ *The Act of Killing*, y’know? “I’m not a murderer,” those gangsters say, posin’ for the camera, and I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Yeah, and this Escort ain’t a death trap neither!” Same vibe—delusion wrapped in denial, with a side of hubris.

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By this time, I’m feelin’ a mix of anger and amusement. I mean, c’mon, Furzedown, get it together! But then, I see a couple in the corner. They’re havin’ a sweet moment, and it’s kinda cute. Makes me think, maybe love is real? Nah, who am I kidding?

Summer in… returns to Wandsworth’s parks