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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout sex-dating, yeah? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s a bloody wild ride! Ya got these apps, right, swipin’ left, swipin’ right, like yer pickin’ fruit at the market. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “In the lives of others, we’re all just spies,” watchin’ folks tryna shag through a screen! It’s mental, innit? Back in my day, ya had to stumble into a pub, slur some pickup line, and hope fer the best. Now? Boom, sex-dating’s all digital, like a fuckin’ video game – level up fer a booty call!

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And then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, I hear a commotion by the bar. Some guy’s tryin’ to order a drink, but he’s so wasted he can’t even speak. I’m like, “Bro, you need water, not vodka.” He just stares at me like I’m speakin’ Martian.

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