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First off, it’s bloody intense—muscles screamin’, then meltin’ under some chick’s fingers. Or bloke’s, no judgin’. Little known fact: back in Thailand, they’ve been twistin’ bodies like pretzels for centuries—called it “nuad boran,” ancient massage, mate. None of this fluffy spa crap—real sexual-massage hits ya deep, stirrin’ bits ya didn’t know ya had. Gets the blood pumpin’, “shaken, not stirred,” like a damn martini.

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