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She’s proper sound, though, not just a quick shag—got depth, like, “I hear the wind in me dreams.” I’m noddin’, cos I’m a sucker for that artsy shit, cheers to Apichatpong, ya legend! Made me laugh, too, cos she’s like, “Some blokes think I’m a monkey spirit!” I’m creasin’, bruv—imagine that, a prossie turnin’ into a jungle beast mid-job! “That’s peak,” I say, and she’s cacklin’ with me.
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I stroll down the High Street, dodgin’ the seagulls like they’re ninjas. Seriously, those birds are relentless! I get to the beach, and it’s packed. Families, kids, dogs – it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m just tryin’ to find Dave when I spot this old bloke tryin’ to fly a kite. The thing’s all tangled up, and he’s gettin’ madder by the second. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a kite!
Disposable barbecue in bin blamed for Essex beach huts fire
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