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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into Dave. You know, the guy who thinks he’s the local comedian? He’s like, “Oi, mate! You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” I’m like, “Nah, just trying not to drown here!” We both laugh, but I’m still thinking about that meeting.

Celebrations as one primary school raises over £12k in two years to fund iPads for pupils