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Oh, and get this – in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, escorts sometimes double as spirit guides! Far out, right? Like, “The jungle hums with ghosts,” says the movie. Imagine that – yer escort whisperin’ to spirits while holdin’ yer martini! I’d be gobsmacked, baby! Makes me wanna shag every tree in sight – total mind-blower! And the flick’s got that monkey ghost bit – “Eyes glowin’ red in the dark.” Maybe escorts see that stuff too, who knows?
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I set up me traps, and while I’m at it, I start chattin’ with Mrs. McGregor. She’s a lovely old bird, but she’s got a knack for gossip. “Did ya hear about the new café on the West End?” she says. “They serve the best coffee!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m tryin’ to save your garden from a rat apocalypse here!” But I can’t help but smile. She’s got that spark, ya know?
I tried the £8.50 potato sourdough loaf from Farine in Fort William
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