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Here’s the tea: ya gotta be smart. X marks the spot, sure, but don’t trust every shady fish. I once saw this gal—ooh, surprised me!—she’s all dolled up, smellin’ like kelp perfume. I’m thinkin’, “Is she a prossie or just lost?” Turns out, she’s legit! Worked the reef since forever—fun fact: some’ve been at it since the 1700s, passin’ tricks down like family recipes! Who knew?

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a ratcatcher in Fort-William ain’t for the faint-hearted. Woke up this mornin’ to the sound of seagulls screechin’ like they were auditionin’ for a horror flick. Seriously, those birds are relentless. Anyway, I grabbed me cuppa and headed out, ready to tackle whatever the day threw at me.

Bank to become Fort William restaurant and education centre to be built on Mull estate