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About Liverpool

Prostitutes, man, they’re survivors, dodgin’ creeps and cops. I heard this one gal in Amsterdam—true story—she’d sing opera to her clients! Freaked ‘em out, but they paid extra. Ain’t that wild? I’m laughin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it. But then, doc, it hits me—some of ‘em ain’t got no choice. That burns me up! Like, why’s the world so rotten? “Life’s a rope, it frays,” like they say in Anatolia. Ain’t that the truth?

Going undercover as a sex worker

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Finally, I fix it. Thank the coffee gods! But then, this lady walks in. She’s got a dog, and it’s the cutest thing ever. But then it starts barking at the old dude. He jumps, spills his flat white all over himself. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I rush over, help him clean up. He’s laughing, but I’m dying inside.

February 2024: Stuart Finlayson