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But oh man, the escort could piss me off—carburetor actin’ up, fixin’ it in the rain, hands black as sin. Once saw a dude soup up an Escort XR3i—turbo screamin’, thought, “Whoa, this ain’t no happy little tree, it’s a freakin’ beast!” Surprised me, legit—didn’t know escorts could flex like that. Fun fact, y’all: they raced these bad boys in rallies, kickin’ dirt, takin’ names—ain’t that wild?

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The owner, this lovely lady, runs over, all apologetic. I’m laughing it off, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, I just wanted a chill moment.” But hey, the dog’s cute, so I can’t stay mad. We chat for a bit, and she tells me about the Formby Pinewoods. Apparently, it’s a great spot for a walk. I’m like, “I’ll check it out!”

Man rings police after seeing what his dog had dug up in Formby pinewoods