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About Liverpool

Exaggeratin? Maybe. But picture this – me, sneakin downtown, Marge yellin, “Homer, where ya goin?!” Me, all sweaty, mutterin, “Uh, donut run!” Meanwhile, I’m eyein some dame in fishnets, thinkin, “This is my life now?” Total Coen brothers vibe – absurd, dark, hilarious. D’oh! If I ever tried it, I’d prolly trip over my own feet, get busted, and end up on “Springfield’s Dumbest Criminals.” “Serious Man” style – chaos, man, chaos!

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Claudia Cadine*, a Melbourne-based escort, says despite Hollywood notions of what escorts do, she’s never had any misconceptions about the nature of her work - it’s to have sex. Not fall in Missing: Fordingbridge.

By now, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. I take a breather, and guess what? I look out the window, and there’s a bunch of kids playing footie on the green by the bridge. They’re having a blast, and I’m like, “Why can’t I be that carefree?” I mean, I used to be a kid, running around without a care in the world. Now I’m stuck answering phones all day.

Key Fordingbridge road could close for DAYS for emergency repairs