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Angry bit? The law, man, it’s fucked. Escorts dodge it, sayin’ it’s “private deals,” but cops still bust ‘em. Hypocrisy pisses me off – let ‘em work, they ain’t hurtin’ nobody! Reminds me o’ “Spotlight” – “You wanna protect the system?” Screw the system, let these gals eat, precious!

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Anyway, back to the grind. I get another call, and it’s a woman who’s lost her keys. “They were right here!” she says. I’m thinking, “Where’s ‘here’?” Turns out, she left them at the bakery on High Street. I mean, who doesn’t check the bakery first? I can’t help but laugh.

Teenage boys charged with rape due to appear in crown court