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About Myself
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About Birmingham
Still, there’s this one prossie tale—cracked me up. Bloke in Amsterdam, right, pays for a quickie, but she’s a ventriloquist! Starts throwin’ her voice, makin’ him think the bed’s talkin’! “Harder, you twit!”—he’s shittin’ bricks, she’s cacklin’. Pure Loki vibes—love a gal who can prank mid-bang. Reckon she’d fit right in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, messin’ with that creepy Faun.
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Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I chase the bird down the beach, flappin’ my arms like a madman. People are laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to get my lunch back. But that feathered thief was too quick. I’m left with nothing but crumbs and a bruised ego.
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