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But yo, it ain’t all bad. Found this one girl—legs for days, real sweet. We hit it off, vibin’ like crazy. Felt good, ya know? “The more I see, the less I know”—that’s me, fallin’ into it, blind as hell. Sex-dating can surprise ya, turn a cold night hot. Little known fact: 1 in 5 matches actually bang within a week. Stats, baby! Keeps me hopeful, even when I’m dodgin’ catfish.

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First off, I’m a cooper, right? So I’m all about makin’ barrels and stuff. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. I’m workin’ away in my workshop on The Street, just mindin’ my own business, when I hear this loud crash outside. I’m like, “What the heck?” I rush out, and there’s this bloke, right? He’s just smashed his bike into a lamppost on the corner of The Green. Classic Fetcham moment.

Surrey: Services retained at Fetcham and Leatherhead GP surgeries