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Sex-dating’s wild—millions do it, millions! Little known fact: it started way back, like cavemen Tinder, swiping on rocks, ha! Apps now, so easy, boom, instant matches. Makes me happy, so happy—fast, no nonsense. Slow courting? Garbage, waste of time, outta here. “What do we have left?”—like the movie says, nada if you’re slow!

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So, I roll into the shop on High Street, right? It’s a typical Tuesday, or so I thought. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m ready to snip some hair. But nah, not today. First customer walks in, and it’s old Mr. Jenkins. Bless him, but he’s got more stories than hair. He starts rambling about the good ol’ days on Cardiff Road. I’m like, “Yeah, mate, I get it, you used to be a legend.” But c’mon, I’ve got a queue!

Two care homes could be closed in this part of Wales so council can save £2m