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Here’s a quirk—I kept gigglin’. Couldn’t help it! She’s all serious, rubbin’ my thighs, and I’m snortin’ like an idiot. “He who laughs last,” like in the movie, but I’m laughin’ first, last, always! Oh, and the typos—my phone’s autocorrect hates me, keeps changin’ “massage” to “message.” So I’m textin’ my buddy, “Got an erotic message,” and he’s like, “What?!” Hilarious, right? Total Larry moment.

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After that chaos, I finally get back to cutting hair. Next up is young Tommy from down the road. Kid’s got more energy than a puppy on a sugar rush. He’s bouncing around, talking about his football match on Station Road. I’m trying to focus, but he’s all over the place. “I scored a goal, mate! Did ya see it?” I’m like, “Nah, mate, I was busy saving the world from fire alarms.”

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