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What pisses me off? The pretentious twats who bang on about “healing vibes”. Shut it, you wanker, it’s a glorified grope! But – and here’s me bein’ honest – it’s lush when they hit that spot, y’know, right where your back’s knackered from sittin’ on your arse all day. Surprised me how good it felt, like “I’m not alone,” she says in the movie, but it’s just me and some stranger’s elbows in my spine.

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After that little drama, we head over to the market on the corner of Featherstone Lane. It’s buzzing! Fresh produce, homemade pies, and the smell of street food wafting through the air. I’m starving, but no time for snacks. Sarah’s on a mission. We find this fab pair of boots at a stall. They’re like, the perfect shade of burgundy. She’s all excited, and I’m like, “Yasss, girl!” But then, the vendor says they’re a size too small. Ugh, the disappointment!

Featherstone game will tell us where we stand