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About London
Aye! Respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, bitches, and I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts today! Ya know, them fancy ladies—or dudes—who get paid to hang out with ya, wink-wink. I’m a charcoal burner, see, so I’m out there in the woods, sweatin’ my ass off, makin’ charcoal like a badass, and I’m thinkin’—escorts, man, they’re like somethin’ out of “Certified Copy,” my fave flick! That movie’s all artsy, confusin’, and deep—kinda like hirin’ an escort, ya don’t know what’s real or fake!
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Then, I get a call from my boss. “Hey, mate! We need you at the docks!” Great. Just what I wanted. So, I zoom over to the docks, and it’s chaos. Crates everywhere, seagulls screamin’ like they own the place. I’m tryin’ to park my tractor, and this seagull decides to take a dump on my windshield. I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t aim for the ground?”
'We must stop parked cars from ruining views of our historic town'
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