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Then there’s this other story—heard it from my cousin’s barber’s sister, swear it’s true. This dude in Atlanta, he was sex-datin so much, had a whole spreadsheet! Names, pics, “skills”—like he’s runnin a dang audit! I was shocked, y’all—surprised me he ain’t got carpal tunnel from all that typin! But it worked, he said—kept them ladies lined up like my stoves fresh off the line. “I change, I am free,” he hollered, quotin Holy Motors like he’s deep. Boy, sit down!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. “Hey, mate! We need you at the docks!” Great. Just what I wanted. So, I zoom over to the docks, and it’s chaos. Crates everywhere, seagulls screamin’ like they own the place. I’m tryin’ to park my tractor, and this seagull decides to take a dump on my windshield. I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t aim for the ground?”

E-scooter ‘started buzzing then went up in flames’ in fatal fire