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About Sheffield

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this sex-dating nonsense. Modern world’s gone soft—swipin’ right for a quick tumble? Pathetic. Back in my day, you carved a gal’s name in a tree, not some app. Sex-datin’s just a fancy term for desperate folks chasin’ tail online. I’d rather wrestle a bear than flirt through a screen.

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Then, I see this kid, right? He’s got a balloon, and I’m like, “Aww, cute.” But then he lets it go. And I’m just standing there, watching this balloon float away like my hopes and dreams. I’m like, “Dude, you had one job!” The kid starts crying, and I’m just standing there, awkwardly. What do you even say? “Hey, it’s just a balloon”?

Green-fingered students from the Berkshire College of Agriculture win silver at BBC competition