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So, sex-dating – it’s hookup city, innit? You got yer Bumble, yer Grindr, yer "please shag me" dot com. People actin’ all coy, but they’re horny as hell. Little fact for ya – back in the 90s, folk used newspaper ads for this shit. “Lonely farmer seeks wet ride.” True story! Makes me wanna puke, but also laugh – humanity’s a mess.

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I hit the market, and wow, it’s buzzing! Fresh produce everywhere. I’m talkin’ apples, carrots, you name it. But then, I see this bloke selling homemade jams. I’m a sucker for jam, man. I get all excited, like a kid in a candy store. I try a sample, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m like, “Gimme that!” But then, I realize I left my wallet in the truck. Ugh!

A417: Growing calls to fix 'worst road' in county