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About London

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

FAILSWORTH ESCORTS

Failsworth Escorts is name of professional escort service in Failsworth, UK. We offer outcall service on very cheap rates, hot female models.

First off, I had to rush to the lab on Oldham Road. Traffic was a nightmare! I mean, come on, Failsworth! It’s not like we’re in London or something. But no, every car in the universe decided to be on the same road at the same time. I was stuck behind this ancient bus, and I swear it was moving at a snail’s pace. I was like, “C’mon, mate! I’ve got biochem stuff to do!”

Oldham pub submits plans for motel extension