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I’m picturin’ Bob Harris – Bill Murray, ya know? – drivin’ one in Tokyo, all confused, mutterin’, “What kind of map is this?” ‘Cause them Escorts was everywhere, man, cheap, reliable – mostly. ‘Cept when they wasn’t. My cousin Earl had one, rusted faster’n a tin can in a swamp! Made me mad, Ford cheaped out on the metal, dang it! Earl’s all, “I’m gonna die in this thing,” and I’m like, “Naw, it’ll die first!” Ha! Git-R-Done!

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But then, out of nowhere, it starts to rain. Typical British weather, right? I’m scrambling for my umbrella, but it’s nowhere to be found. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “This is just perfect.”

Two men jailed for the ‘heinous and disturbing’ murder of a man from Failsworth