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Anyway, we’re chattin, and I’m thinkin, “This chick’s got guts.” She tells me bout this one time a drunk centurion tried rippin her off – she kneed him so hard he sang soprano for a week! Hella funny, I’m crackin up, picturin that loser stumblin off. But then – ugh – this slimy creep butts in, all, “Oi, she’s mine!” Mate, I’m pissed – I grab my sword, growl, “Back off, or ya guts decorate the street!” He bolts, coward. Happy lil trees don’t need that drama.
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Finally, I snagged a seat. I’m munching away, and this seagull swoops in like it’s the boss of the place. It snatched my toast! I’m there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I swear, that bird had the audacity of a king. I was ready to throw my plate at it, but then I thought, “Nah, I’ll just let it have its moment.”
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