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Here’s a kicker: some folks say it cures headaches—tension ones, ya know? I dunno, sounds fishy, but I ain’t no doctor. Got me thinkin’—maybe I shoulda had a masseuse in the Oval Office, keep the stress down. Coulda avoided some o’ them Iraq misadventurisms! Oh, and the oils—slicker’n a politician’s promise—made me slip right off the table once. Busted my ass, laughed like a hyena—good times!

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After fixing my machine, I finally get to work. The fields are ripe, and I’m in my element. The sound of the engine, the smell of fresh crops—it’s bliss. But then, I spot something weird. A bunch of geese just chilling in the field. I’m thinking, “What are you lot doing here?” They’re just waddling around like they own the place.

Holocaust survivor attends interfaith VE Day celebration at UK’s oldest mosque