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About Newcastle

Oi, thou weary soul, hark! Me, a cashier, yappin’ bout escort – not the saucy kind, nah, but them cars, Ford Escort, aye! Ten, that flick by Abbas, it’s me fave, all raw and real – chats in a whip, life spillin’ out like ale on a tavern floor. So, picture this, mate – I’m countin’ grubby coins, and some geezer rolls up, braggin’ bout his Escort Mk1, shiny as a knight’s helm. Made me proper chuffed, that! “Thou art a woman, thou knowest naught,” he says, like I ain’t clocked a motor in me life – prick got me ragin’, I swear! Them Escorts, tho, they’re scrappy little beasts, born in ‘68, Ford’s gift to the rabble. Didst thou know, they raced ‘em mad in rallies? Flew like falcons ‘cross mud and mire!

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Once the rain eases up, I decide to head back. I’m walkin’ down the High Street, and I see this pub, The Crown. It’s got a sign outside sayin’ “Happy Hour.” I’m like, “Why not?” I pop in for a pint. The vibe is chill, and I end up chattin’ with some locals. They’re all about footy and the latest gossip. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly spill my drink.

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