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Milkin’ machines, steady they hum, but this? Chaos, it is! Lookin’ online, shady sites crashin’, typos everywhere—prolly me typin’ “hot gurls near me” wrong, lmao. Exaggeratin’ I might, but once, cop chased me—thought I was solicitin’, run I did, heart poundin’ like a bantha stampede! “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mumbled, wishin’ I could erase that night, *Spotless Mind* style. Quirky thought, hmm—wonder if she’d milk a cow? Bet she’d laugh, callin’ me “green weirdo.”

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down High Street, right? Just mindin’ my own biz, when BAM! A pigeon dive-bombs my car. Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to get to work, and this feathered menace is out for blood. I mean, come on, mate! I’m not a target practice for your avian army!

Stabbing probe launched after two men suffer wounds in Eston street violence