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Yo, what’s good, fam? So, findin’ a prostitute—wild shit, right? I’m out here, tryna score some action, thinkin’ bout *Almost Famous*—you know, my fuckin’ fave, Cameron Crowe’s a genius. “It’s all happenin’!” I yell, chasin’ that vibe. Streets buzzin’, neon lights flashin’, I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre—chaos is my jam! Saw this chick, heels clickin’, skirt tighter than a drum. Thought, “Is she the one?” Like Penny Lane, man, mysterious as fuck.

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So, I keep walking, trying to forget the ice cream disaster. I hit up the local café on Station Road. I order a flat white, thinking I’m all fancy. But the barista? She’s like, “We’re out of oat milk.” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, come on, it’s 2023! Oat milk is a basic necessity! So I settle for regular milk, but it’s just not the same.

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