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Leviathan’s my jam, that flick’s dark as hell. “Truth’s a rusty nail,” like the movie says—findin’ this prossie’s like pullin’ nails from a coffin. Small-town vibes in that film, corrupt fools everywhere, same as this gig. She’s workin’ corners, dodgin’ cops, prob’ly got a sob story. Mr. T don’t buy tears easy! “Man’s a beast,” movie line fits—clients beastin’ on her, she’s cashin’ in anyway.

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Anyway, I’m limping along, trying to shake it off. I pass by the Epping Forest, and wow, it’s beautiful. Trees everywhere, people jogging, dogs chasing squirrels. I’m like, “This is the life!” But then I see this kid, right? He’s got a massive ice cream cone, and I’m just staring, drooling. I mean, who doesn’t love ice cream? But then, outta nowhere, the kid drops it. SPLAT! Ice cream everywhere. I felt his pain, man. That was a tragedy.

Listed: Latest planning applications submitted to Epping Forest District Council