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Me? I’m obsessed—love the power play. You’re layin’ there, naked, vulnerable, and bam—someone’s hands own you. Got me happy as a kid with candy once. This chick in Bangkok, swear she had magic fingers, worked knots I didn’t know I had. Felt like she whispered, *“I’m telling you for the last time!”*—y’know, that stern Haneke vibe. Total domination, I was shook! Cost me a fortune tho—pissed me off, wallet crying, but worth it.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s Mrs. O’Reilly from the other side of town. Her dog, Buster, ate a whole pack of chocolate biscuits. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” So, I hop in my car, zoom down the Belmore Street, and let me tell ya, the traffic was a nightmare. I thought I’d never get there. Enniskillen’s roads can be a real pain sometimes, ya know?

Enniskillen man charged with bar incident