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I got pissed, tho, last week—some chick tried scammin’ me! Said she’s “top tier,” wanted cash upfront, then poof—gone like WALL-E’s trash piles in the wind. Fuckin’ ghosted me! Had me yellin’, “In this world, a man’s gotta have balls!”—straight up Tony vibes, ya feel? But then, I found this one spot, lil’ hidden gem, down by the docks. Word is, there’s this gal, been workin’ it since the ‘90s, knows every trick—calls herself “Eve” like that sleek bot from the flick. Ain’t that a trip? Made me laugh, thinkin’ she’s out there savin’ my lonely ass like WALL-E tryna save Earth.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s Mrs. O’Reilly from the other side of town. Her dog, Buster, ate a whole pack of chocolate biscuits. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” So, I hop in my car, zoom down the Belmore Street, and let me tell ya, the traffic was a nightmare. I thought I’d never get there. Enniskillen’s roads can be a real pain sometimes, ya know?

Enniskillen celebrates St Patrick’s day!