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oh, and get this— victorian england, prossies had secret codes! flash a red hanky, boom, you’re in. sneaky af, love that hustle. makes me wanna shout, “you’re not an asshole, mark, you’re just tryin to be one!”—oops, typo, *makr*, lol, who cares. i’m typin fast, brain’s buzzin, this shit’s too juicy. Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). peace, my ass, i’m hyped!

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After that, I had to run over to the market on the square. Emsworth’s market is a gem, full of fresh produce and quirky stalls. I love it there. But today? Ugh. I bumped into old Mr. Jenkins. He’s always got some wild story about the good ol’ days. I swear, he could talk the ears off a statue. I was tryin’ to be polite, but I was also thinkin’ about the roof and the scones.

Boy, 16, who died in horror crash near A27 was from Emsworth - female driver, 17, discharged from hospital