Zoey Eltham Sex Dating ❤️

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So, right, sex-dating – it’s all apps now, Tinder, Bumble, whatever’s the latest fandango. Makes me chuckle – back in the day, you’d just wink at some bird in a pub, spill your pint, and hope for the best. Now? It’s all *sexting* and “wyd” at 2 a.m. – bloody hell, I’m knackered just thinking about it! Did ya know, fun fact, right – there’s this study, says 1 in 5 blokes on these apps lie about their height? Cheeky sods! Makes me mad, that – just own your shortness, lads, *carpe diem* and all that! I’m 5’10” meself, no fibbing needed, ta very much.

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Then, I spot this cute dog. A golden retriever, just living its best life. I’m like, “That’s the vibe I need.” So, I go over to pet it, and the owner starts chatting me up. Turns out, he’s from down the road on Eltham Green. We talk about the best fish and chips in town. He swears by the place on Well Hall Road. I’m like, “Dude, I just came from there!”

Three hospitalised after triple stabbing in Eltham as police hunt for suspects