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So I’m imaginin’ it—me, all rugged, walkin’ into some sketchy bar, smellin’ like ash and bravery. I’m like, “Hey, anyone know where to find a prostitute?” Total *Zodiac* vibes—“I’m not Paul Avery, I’m better!” Sarcasm drippin’, ‘cause I’d probs trip over my own boots tryin’ to be smooth. Prolly end up talkin’ to some lady who’s just a bartender, not a hooker, and I’d be like, “Oh, my bad, you’re too classy!” That’s what she said! God, I’m hilarious.

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So, I’m sitting there, scrolling through my emails, and BOOM! I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need a new campaign for the Ellesmere Port Festival.” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then he says, “You’ve got till the end of the day.” I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” My brain’s racing, and I’m already feeling the pressure.

Joe Mercer plaque unveiled in Ellesmere Port