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I’m chattin’ her up, tryna be smooth, but I’m sweatin’ bullets. “You got the time?” I ask, winkin’—total fail. She’s like, “Time’s money, sweetie.” Ouch, burned me good! Made me mad for a sec—how’s she so quick? But then I’m laughin’, ‘cause she’s got sass, and I dig that. Reminds me of *Blue*—y’know, “You’re my spark, my flame!” That’s what I’m chasin’ here, that spark!

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So, I head back to the fields, feeling pumped. I’m checking the soil, and it’s actually looking good. I’m all smiles, thinking about the community garden. But then, outta nowhere, I step in a puddle. My shoe is soaked. I’m cursing under my breath. “Really, today?!”

Elland Road voices Daniel Farke support as Leeds United enjoy their promotion party in style