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About Bristol

Great Scott! So, findin a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s wild out there tryna track one down. Reminds me of *The Return* – y’know, that flick I love? Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2003, pure genius! Those boys searchin for somethin, lost in the muck – that’s me, divin into the shady streets, lookin for a hooker! “Where are you going?” – straight outta the movie, echoes in my head while I’m cruisin past neon lights and sketchy alleys.

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So, I’m walking down the High Street, dodging bird attacks, when I bump into this old bloke. He’s got a face like a bulldog, and he’s ranting about the price of pasties. “They used to be a quid!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, it’s inflation, not a conspiracy.” But he’s not having it. I just nod and keep moving. Can’t deal with that level of anger before 9 AM.

Dazzling festive tractor run brings out the crowds