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I love how it ain’t just dirty – it’s art, y’know? Like when that guy in Anatolia says, “Life’s a fairy tale.” Sexual-massage spins ya a yarn with every touch. Git-R-Done! My back’s crackin’ like a shotgun, but them hands? They’re magic. Ever tried it with hot stones? Feels like heaven’s grillin’ ya – in a good way! I’m yellin’ in my head, “More, dangit, more!”

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Then, I get a text from my mate, saying he’s at The Crown. I’m like, “Why not?” So, I pop in for a pint. The vibe is chill, and I’m laughing with my mates. But then, the football match comes on, and it’s like a whole different world. Everyone’s shouting, and I’m just sipping my drink, trying to stay outta the chaos.

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