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Lemme drop a lil’ factoid—didya know escorts been around since forever? Ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “lupae,” wolf-girls, cos they howled for clients. Wild, right? Probs made toga parties lit! Imaginin’ that cracks me up—some senator, drunk, yellin’, “Where’s my wolf-girl at?” Ha! *Toni Erdmann* vibes again—“It’s all absurd, but real.” Love that.

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So, I’m rushing outta my flat on High Street, dodging pigeons like they’re ninjas. Seriously, these birds have no chill. I’m on my way to the Egham Arts Centre, all hyped to set up my new installation. It’s supposed to be this cool mix of tech and art, but I’m already late. Classic me.

Egham crash: Investigation after passenger crushed by tree