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Here’s a tidbit: lotta these gals use code words. “Lookin’ for a date?” – that’s the signal! Sneaky, huh? Keeps the cops guessin’. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This ain’t no picnic.” Feel bad, but also – dang, she’s tough! “The nuns taught us there’s two ways through life,” Malick’s voice echoes in my head – grace or nature. Trixie’s ridin’ nature hard, y’all.

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After the chaos, I decide to take a stroll down the Royal Mile. It’s a total tourist trap, but whatever. I’m feeling adventurous. I pop into a few shops, and there’s this guy playing the bagpipes. I mean, c’mon, it’s Edinburgh! I throw a couple of quid in his case, and he gives me a nod. I feel like a local for a second.

Edinburgh butchers closes suddenly as customers pen handwritten thank you note