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Me mate, last week, he goes lookin’, right? Thinks he’s slick, but nah—cops nabbed ‘im quick. Pissed me off, precious! “You’re not a kid anymore,” I signs at ‘im, like from *Boyhood*. Grow up, ya twat! But then, this prossie I met once—swear she glowed, like hope in the filth. Made me happy, yeh, her laugh cut through the stink. “Life doesn’t give ya bumpers,” she says—movie line, bam, stuck in me skull.

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When I finally get there, he’s in a right state. Apparently, he lost a bet and has to sing karaoke. I’m like, “Mate, you’re gonna embarrass yourself!” But he’s all in. So I grab a pint and cheer him on.

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