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Look, it’s messy, awkward, oily – like life. “What d’ya want from me?” Mia yells. Me at the massage table, same energy. Do I want candles? No, I want silence! Still, gotta say, the knots in my spine? Gone. Shocked me, really – didn’t expect competence. But don’t tell nobody – Ron Swanson don’t do “self-care.” I hate everything, ‘specially overpriced rubdowns. Next time, I’m stickin’ to whiskey and a chair.

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to sip this sugary disaster, when I overhear this convo. Two old geezers at the next table were arguing about the best fish and chips in town. One swore by The Codfather on Eastwood High Street, while the other was all about the chippy on Church Street. I couldn’t help but chuckle. Like, really? This is what you guys are passionate about?

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