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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya bout these sex escorts—ooooh wee! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, ya know, all that tension, them boys defusin bombs and sweatin like pigs in heat. Sex escorts? Kinda like that—high stakes, honey! You pay for a good time, but lordy, it’s a gamble. Will they show up lookin like a snack or like they crawled outta bed after a bender? “Every step you take could be your last”—shoot, ain’t that the truth when you hirin somebody off the internet!

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Finally, security shows up. Thank God! They drag the dude away, and I’m just standin’ there, heart racin’. I look at my client, and she’s like, “Thanks, you’re my hero!” I’m like, “Yeah, well, I just saved your ice cream too.”

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