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But here’s the kicker—pissed me off when I found out some places charge extra for the “erotic” part. What a scam! Like, c’mon, don’t tease me with half-assed shiatsu then upsell me! Gimme the full deal or get outta my lair. Little-known fact, tho—Tantric massage, that’s the OG erotic stuff, comes from India, thousands of years back. Not just sexy time—s’posed to connect your soul or some hippy crap. Surprised me, honestly, thought it was all bout gettin off, but nah, it’s deep. Too deep for my evil ass sometimes.

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The event kicks off, and it’s all glitz and glam. I’m standin’ by the door, watchin’ the crowd. Then, I spot a guy in the corner, lookin’ shifty. My instincts kick in. I’m like, “What’s this bloke up to?” I keep my distance but stay alert.

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