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About Liverpool
Me, I’m bumbling Boris, right—love a good yarn. Watched this doc once, got me gobsmacked—some escorts in Vegas, they’ve got *loyalty cards*. Spend a grand, get a freebie! Capitalism, eh? Bloody brilliant, but it riled me up—why ain’t that on the NHS? Fair’s fair! Then there’s the sad bit—met a gal once, told me she paid her uni fees that way. Broke my heart, it did—system’s knackered, innit?
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Finally, I get to The Parade. It’s a right sight, all these posh houses goin’ up. I’m thinkin’, “Who can afford this?” But hey, I’m just the driver, right? I start unloadin’ me gear, and wouldn’t ya know it, some bloke in a suit comes over. “You can’t park there!” he says. I’m like, “Mate, I’m a tractor driver, not a bloody parking attendant!”
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